Life

This is not a post about my wonderful kids and the joys of motherhood - but simply an observation of where I am standing and currently find myself in a reflective state as I begin to move forward feeling the resistance like a brilliant windstorm pushing me back..but I continue, with my hair a mess and feeling the exahstion to my core.

Motherhood isnt easy. Life isnt always easy.

I never truly comprehended how much more chaotic life would be with 2 kids. How in the world did my mom do it with 6 (or 7, now)? Im constantly moving. I love to write and so I take the time to do things such as this, but honestly this single blog entry took me days to compose, seriously!

Im finally starting to make connections with people outside of my home. Any mom knows what a blessing it is to have these connections. These connections remind me of what it is like to be Casey. Ill never stop being mommy or being a wife, but it refreshes my soul when I can remind myself what its like to just be me.

Life seems to have taken our little family in some not-quite-planned directions. It can and has been stressful, any adult knows that feeling of "its not ever going to end..." so feeling completely defeated this morning, I began my morning routine of work, school and the daily maddness that is called Cayden and Kaille. I checked my email, and generally I do not read forwarded emails until I have spare time -- so generally, once a month late on a saturday or sunday night. But, for some reason I chose to read this email on Wednesday morning and it was just what I needed. So I feel compelled to share it.


In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.

And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Kailee Ann

Our baby girl is growing up so fast! 6 months already! She has mastered rolling all over the place, grabbing anything in site, serenading us for hours with her squeals, and eating! I know she doesnt look like it, but this girl LOVES her food - and if I let her, she'd love everyone elses food too. She also is quite proud of her sitting abilities and most recently has managed to pull herself up onto her hands and knees, she doesnt go anywhere but its really cute!


Here is our angel doing what she loves -- eating! I believe this is Squash.

Another Day at the Miller Farm

So - heres the short version:

Dave and I stayed up way too late on Saturday night and the next morning we struggled to take care of our kids. So, he napped with Kailee while I attempted to keep my eyes open while hanging out with Cayden. I fell asleep....and woke up to this:



What is this, you ask? Well its a special paste made of diaper rash ointment and baby lotion...and I believe white face paint may have been added. All accompanied to a soundtrack of "Ghostbusters" that Cayden was singing while dancing around with his backpack on his back that has the vacuum hose attached. I promise to get a picture of the backpack and post it at a later time.

Anyhow, 5 hair washings and a long bath and I finally found Cayden.

Cayden

Cayden is amazingly brilliant and has been blessed with a gift that allows him to see the world in a way that others have forgotten or never learned. Because of this, his spectrum of possibilities are endless and I look forward and feel greatful to be blessed with the ability to make the journey with him.
He is high functioning autistic. What does this mean to him? absolutely nothing! He will coninue to view the world with his carefree heart and optimistic, innocent eyes. What does this mean for me? A lesson in patience and a greater need to protect him from people who have no understanding or who may label him as anything other than the amazing little man he is!
We have been blessed to have Cayden involved in a program that allows him to work with people that will not let him slip through the cracks of "public education." I wish I had the means to educate everyone on what autism is...maybe one day.

Food Tales

Cayden is one of the most pickiest eaters I know. So, I am constantly looking for things that he might like. I even rename some food to things he likes. Quesadillas are pizza, anything meat are hot dogs...and so on. I will brag and say that he loves his veggies :)
Anywho, I found some dinosuar chicken nuggets at the store - yes, I know they are processed, but its still protein! So at lunch, I presented him with some macaroni and cheese, peas, and dinosuar chicken nuggets. He ate his peas first, and then I left the room to change Kailees diaper. Upon returning, I found his macoroni spread out and made into a jungle - with all of his little plastic animals neatly placed into his food. I tell you, my son is so creative!
He wouldnt eat the dinosuars because they are toys. He went into a full meltdown when I showed him that they are food by biting the head off of one of his dinsuars....onto other ideas :)

Rather Exciting News

Dave picked up some more work with MTV! They are shooting a movie in Provo and have involved Dave in the lighting. The movie is called American Mall - its like High School Musical but it targets the teenage population. His lighting will be the grand finale of the movie. Its so exciting to watch his career grow. He's so incredibly talented and it's nice to see all of his hard work going in the direction it has been. If you would like to read more about the movie, you can read about it here

Among all of his other projects - the two biggest are of course, the opening of Murray Theater. After the 2 years of planning and preparation, it has finally opened and it is phenomenal! I would really encourage everyone to check out the hypnotist show on Friday nights, its a great opportunity for you all to see what he does in a family friendly environment. The other project is an upcoming music festival in May, Evolution 3D. Its a true festival lasting several days with a variety of music and activities. Its by far, the largest musical event that Daves company has ever spearheaded. I'm really excitied about this one.....and looking for possible sitters so I can attend for a day or two ;)

The greatest gifts in my life

Today made me realize how awesome my kids are! I took on the great adventure of shoveling the foot and a half of snow from our driveway, cursing under my breath as I made it to the four feet of snow that the snow plower piled in front of our driveway. This is no exaggeration - in fact, there may have very well been more. Cayden kept the mood very playful as he threw snowballs at me and kept trying to get me to eat the soot colored snow....he didnt like it, so he wanted to know if I had the same opinion.
Tonight, as I sit here unable to move, its nice to know that Kailee is perfectly content with me just smiling back at her because the very thought of having to get up and do anything more makes me want to sob like a child.

While being a stay at home mommy is by far one of the most difficult tasks I have taken on, its nice to have days like today when I can step outside of the choas and reflect on how truly blessed I am to have great kids! Please remind me of that tomorrow when I feel frazzled from chasing Cayden around with Kailee in one arm and a load of laundry in the other...well, that is, if I am able to move tomorrow!